Adoption: Act like men
God’s sovereign plan includes me being a dad to a little boy my wife gave birth to and a dad to two little ones she did not. I know this, because it happened. God’s sovereign plan includes me loving one of my children more than the others. I know this, because I have a daughter. Sorry sons, your sister wins every time.
Kinda. I love my boys, it’s just there is just something about that little girl that destroys me. She was 4 pounds when she was handed to me for the first time.
She was perfect and I was done for.
Maybe you’re reading this because the Lord has stirred the idea of fostering or adopting in your heart. You find yourself caring about children going to bed this very night without a mommy or daddy to tuck them in. You care and may not even be able to pinpoint exactly why. You just know that you repeatedly find yourself reading, and thinking, and praying for what to do about this “issue.”
The timing and sequence of everything was more surprising to me than the actual call to adopt (see A Photo Anthology). I thought we would adopt which we did, and I thought we would foster, which we did. But I did not anticipate the foster-to-adopt process.
I remember vividly the moment our agency asked us if we had ever considered fostering. “I have,” I told them, “I just thought that was something you did after you proved you could actually raise children.”
We took two weeks to consider our answer. I thought I knew within a day, my bride confirmed within a week, and then we took another week to ask the Lord for clarity. We said yes, and our lives are now richer. I felt certain my wife and I were to adopt some FIVE years before my oldest ever came to our home.
[First adoption convo] -> 3 years -> [Certain we’d adopt] -> 5 years -> [Fostering]->2 years->[Adoption]
That’s 3+5+2= 10 year process
You ladies I talk to are mama bears at heart and have a fierce amount of compassion, love, hugs, kisses and cuddles to give. Your drive and determination is captivating. You gents are calculated, working hard to provide for your family. Your dedication is steadfast and honorable.
Most of the time you ladies lead the way for your family to pursue adoption. Gents, you often just come along for the ride. However, this passivity seems counter to Scripture’s call for men-
Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.
~First Corinthians 16:13-14
So if I may,
Gentlemen, pray, inquire, and research along with your wife. Act like men, lead the way in orphan care for your family, your church, your country, this world. Ladies, pray, tell your husband if you’re interested in fostering or adoption. Ask him directly to lead your family in this area.